Cigarettes

I watch you quietly
Hoping you won’t see
Hoping you don’t realize
The things you do to me
The smell of cigarettes
Lingers in my head
A faint taste on my tongue
A taste I can’t forget
I had never felt like this
I watched you from a distance
Wondering if you felt it too
If you ever wished this
I always knew you were a bad idea
But one I couldn’t shake
The darkest of my dreams at night
I wanted you to be my sweet mistake
But I know you won’t be mine
It’s nothing but an empty wish
No matter how I might try
It will never be different than it is
I know it’s all a pretty lie
But one I won’t regret
So I drown in your fleeting touch
And the smell of cigarettes