Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ragged Dress & Rainstorm Kiss

Curled up in a corner, mascara tears tattoo ink along her cheeks, painted hands reach for lipstick dignity. She wipes the grime and her empty heart, shaking hands bring the bright red tube to whispering lips. No small talks will draw out her confidence and her mirror shattered feelings of happiness when the night began.
And Boy, always Boy.
A ragged dress and rainstorm kiss paint the warning "Fuck Off" on her forehead. Red lips, newly painted, bring out the same color in her eyes, circled by shadows and cheap drugstore eyeliner.
Phone sits silent in her chipped polished hands. Everyone one click away and yet a lifetime to leave her so alone. Outside, too-loud laughter presses against her ears and she wants to drown it in the bathroom sink with her pride.
Heels click and stick on a tequila-baptized floor. She wants to wash the bitter taste in her mouth and keep washing away until all of it is gone.
Rejection and too-tight shoes pinch the last life from her soiled, bedraggled night.
She walks on her own from the flooded scene, no one to miss her or ask where she's been. A number folded in her pocket from a Nothingman, means nothing to her as she throws it away. It flutters to the gutter with the rest of her hopes for now. She is tired of Right Nows and tired of looking for Forever. Vodka-soaked mind tells her she won't find it here, stumbling across the rain-kissed street in a dark night daze.
A message blinks "Where r u?" and she blinks away her mascara tears.
Boy, always Boy.
Cigarette stench clings to her hair and dress, same as Boy left her a mess. But still clings.
Heart and head war violently and her thumb traces over the reply. The same way she started with goodbye. She trips on the curb and twists a heel, shot of pain reminds her to feel more than think. Corner sign blinks brightly. A shot of espresso and a dose of reality.
She turns off her phone, unanswered. Lipstick ring on an espresso cup, a kiss on porcelain, she won't give up. Baptized in a late-night rain and rung out of a night hardly remembered, she knows she won't keep searching for Forever. Forever will find her.
Maybe sitting here in a coffee shop in the middle of the night, wearing her sins in plain sight, a ragged dress and red lipstick lips. She curls her hair around her fingers and her lips into a smile. Maybe not a warning but an invitation to share a cup with her.

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