I'm not a smoker

I'm not a smoker
I'm just out here
at the smoke pit
with my cigarette
lighting one up
and watching smoke
fade into night sky
not ready yet
to go back inside
I don't tell anyone
I smoke now and then
more now than then
and let it be
our little secret
even though each time
I swear never again
I don't like the taste
of smoke on my tongue
but I like it on yours
and the way it lingers
on your skin
and on mine
long after we let go
I'm not a smoker
but some things
are hard to let go
and we stand out
here in the cold
and you ask
if I want just one more
and when you look at me
that way
what else
could I possibly say
but yes?
Light them up
stare out over the lights
that fade into stars
a dozen unsaid things
pass between us
and disappear
with the smoke
I'm not a smoker
but I will smoke
a thousand more
if it means I can stay here
with you like this
just a little longer